Alex Johnson: 0:00

We were in the kitchen. I remember it vividly. We were standing by the island and my wife just looked at me. She said, I don't want to be married anymore. I want a divorce. This is too hard. And I thought, what's so stinking hard about it? I I didn't understand her perspective. I just had an over overwhelming sensation of it can't be my way anymore. Right. I I if I really want something different, I got to give up and uh and surrender to the process.

Chris Faust: 0:25

Welcome to Veteran Voices. With your host, Tom Chris Faust.

Tom Faust: 0:49

Welcome to Veteran Voices. I am your co-host, Tom Faust. I'm here with my son Chris. And today we have with us Alex Johnson. He's a combat veteran who will be talking through a number of issues that he's gone through trying to transition from the PTSD problems into a counselor's office and totally surrendering and where he ended up now. So uh says he's an open book. Uh a lot of alcohol involved that I think you've taken care of and uh moved on and surrendered. And so let's let's just go in and get started here. Um I think uh you talked about uh I think something that had an effect on you was uh a friend of yours that called asking for some money because he ran out of his VA budget, and uh you I guess had something to say before you actually gave him the money to you know help him out a little bit. Can you tell us more about that?

Alex Johnson: 1:46

Yeah, for sure. So one of the processes I've learned uh with partnering with the right people and people showing up for me and stuff was uh how to instead of just giving uh money away or or lending money, uh thinking of it as a hand up. How do you uh assist somebody to empower them to their next destination, to their next goal, right? So in that conversation, he was my alpha team leader in Iraq, and he's probably one of the best men I know. Um, but he was uh, you know, hasn't we haven't spoken years. So it was uh one of those things we touched base, and then about a week later he's asking, you know, needing 50 bucks, what have you? And um it was impactful because we spent about 15, 20 minutes um just empowering him, right? Just reminding him of of the great, the greatness that he is, right? He still exists in that greatness of space. And um, by the time it was all said and done, you know, that the 50 bucks I told him, I said, you know, if it comes back great, if it doesn't, no problem. Uh don't make it be a relationship aspect between you and me. But uh yeah, sure enough, uh, since we've talked about that, Tom, you know, he's already paid it back and good and moving on and excited and cleaning up uh, you know, what he wants to do as far as his next goals and his next steps. And so I think that's part of the community of us veterans, uh, you know, as we sit around in a room, how do we empower one another? We all possess such great attributes. Uh selfless service is obviously something we all have it in us, whether we love it or not, or whether it resonates every day or not, we have it, you know. So why not share it and power it with each other? And that was a big deal for for him and I to be able to reconnect and be able to serve one another still in that capacity.

Chris Faust: 3:24

Look at some interview notes here. Um, you uh mentioned that he still wanted to uh call you Sergeant Johnson, and uh you you you told him that you know you're just Alex now. You know, what does that reveal about the whole of the you know old identity for both of you?

Alex Johnson: 3:38

Yeah, so I think um uh for me, I think for a while I did latch on to that uh combat veteran, that infantryman that I am, that uh that warrior. And um as I started to move on and and leave the the military aspects, which I know Tom wanted to talk about a little bit more in detail too as we get there, but being able to realize it was a point in time for me. It was one of the building blocks of why I'm at where I'm at today. And so being able to go back when he called me Sergeant Johnson, I think it was uh um out of respect and love, right? I think that's how he was trying to talk to me. So I was reassuring him, he gets the new version, he gets the improved, upgraded version, which is now Alex, who's done some work. Um, not to say that I was bad as a warrior, I'm not saying that it's a a negative thing, but it is the next milestone of where I'm going to, my next destiny, right? And so simply just being Alex is uh is what I love to be be now, you know. Um, I don't have to be that that uh you know, lack of a better I don't have to be a gunslinger anymore, right?

Tom Faust: 4:44

So yeah, so and you described uh this alpha team leader, I'm guessing it's the same guy that we were just talking about, um, as uh the guy who uh like walk on every bomb first, got shot at first. He was always out there. What what do you think that says about the the culture of the unit all together and and uh what you know what you each valued in each other?

Alex Johnson: 5:05

Yeah, I would definitely say there's uh, you know, we we did a few missions with with uh SOCOM Special Operations Command, and uh they couldn't believe our 15-month op tempo. Uh we were there during the 07-08 Bush's Surge Brigade and uh in Iraq, and um it was 72 hours nonstop. I mean, very little sleep, very little chow. Um, and I will tell you, we we were a young platoon, young platoon leader, young platoon sergeant. I was 23 as the E6 squad leader, so you know, young squad leaders, and uh we were dynamic. We we we did, we truly all fought for one another and um did our best to keep each other alive and and there was no no doubt about it, you know. Um, but yeah, that my alpha team leader. I was the first squad leader, so he was alpha team leader, so he ran point about 90% of the time. So, you know, first fire, first bombs, first everything. He he took it all and uh he never never complained, not once, not once did he ever complain uh to mix it up or change it up or you know, uh let's change my odds a little bit, right? And uh he never said it, he just kept doing it and just kept being amazing at it. So yeah, I've nothing but just complete love and and respect for him.

Chris Faust: 6:10

You have said, you know, that you know, you know, we were servants. Most of us in the military, you know, we're we're we're serving our country. Um, so yeah, that that is true in one aspect there. So how do you understand the word or how did you understand the word uh servant back then? Was it about obedience, sacrifice, and leadership, or was it something else to you?

Alex Johnson: 6:32

Yeah, so so servant, uh man, going back years here in time, what I thought about it back then is not what I understand it today. It um so going back then, it was uh a job to do, and it was my job to serve. So it was like a a compensation aspect where I'll serve, I'll do what I'm told to do, and and uh be respectful of that. And in turn, you're gonna pay me a little bit of money here, and we're gonna go ahead and do this. And um, and the goal is to protect America, right? So that's kind of how I understood uh servitude, if you will.

Tom Faust: 7:07

Now, if you want me to morph into what I think it is today, I think it's a whole different animal, but uh um so you mentioned that uh you know some soldiers move into leadership, and I think you kind of use air quotes from when we talked earlier. That's more than abundant service. When when did you first feel that shift from just doing your job to I'm responsible for people's lives here?

Alex Johnson: 7:28

So yeah, so I would definitely say in basic training, um, at a drill sergeant, he was phenomenal, it was his last cycle. Um, phenomenal human being. And I remember seeing that rank of staff sergeant, and I was a private, right new E1 private, and I thought, man, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that right now. You know, um, I want to emulate those uh footsteps. And uh his leadership was um, you know, second to none. He he was top-notch. Um, little did I know his leadership was so good because of the servant that he was to us, but I didn't correlate it at that time, right? I just saw the leader in him, I saw the rank and I saw how he treated us, and I thought, man, I want to do that. So, you know, four years later, uh, there I am as a staff sergeant, uh, trying to re-emulate what I remember him doing, uh, obviously with the Sarn Johnson flavor to it, uh, as we all do. But I'll definitely tell you, yeah, I would definitely say um going from basic training to airborne school, going to rip, um being a ranger. I mean, that's that's it right there. They're gonna teach you uh it doesn't matter if you're an E1 or if you're the highest rank, you're a leader. Um next man up type mentality. And uh I think that's where it really started to hone in on me, probably 18, 19 years old. Um, might even bend leadership even back as a child with my with my siblings, my six siblings. There were some taxing things there going on in life too that I think um unbeknownst to me was leadership was happening. I just didn't know what it was.

Chris Faust: 8:49

Kind of going in a little bit of a different direction here. And I know we don't want to, you know, we don't have to kind of dwell on, you know, uh on on anyone's subject. But one one of the big things with transitioning out of the military is when when you leave it, you lose the you know, you you lose that structure, that accountability and camaraderie and everything that you had while you were in there to now you're you know kind of on your own or you know, you know, with family and it's just not quite the exact same. And that can lead to a lot of you know uh issues with with with coping with things. Um so kind of how did you how did that work for you? Was it like a slow slide? Uh was it kind of an instant thing? You know, kind of explain what you feel you can about how it affected you.

Alex Johnson: 9:32

So yes, when I retired um from the military, um I was grateful, I was happy to leave some of that structure aspect of some of it's not always the fun structure that we enjoy as veterans, but there was something about uh the simplicity of the brotherhood, um, the acceptance of the brotherhood, you know, and um leaving the military, I quickly uh was immersed with another veteran uh partner of mine, and we were doing home building. So I had I still had some some uh camaraderie there, right? Pretty daily interaction. But once I left that, I knew I needed to focus on my family. At that point, I knew there was a gap, there was a hole, and uh I didn't know how to do it. That was that was the key. I didn't know how. And so that's when it started to evolve to alcohol. I thought I was checking the box by being physically present. I'm staying in the same room as them. What's the problem? I'm here, right? But uh I didn't understand at that point the emotional availability to them, the the mental agility to support them, uh, so on and so forth. Uh and I think that's where uh like Tom was saying, uh, we'll probably move into it here shortly, but something had to change. And uh so alcohol was the the the the um the pacifier to the thoughts, if you will.

Tom Faust: 10:58

Yeah, so I mean you kind of explained to us a little bit about what it was like for you. Kind of you were there, but not really there, right? Um so I just want to say uh at one point um you were married for like 13 years, and your wife said she wanted a divorce, and and that kind of woke you up a little bit, I think, right? Can you tell me more about that?

Alex Johnson: 11:19

Absolutely. So uh, you know, in my drinking from about eight in the morning in my coffee with Crown Royal and going through the day with the whole rest of the bottle. We were in the kitchen. I remember it vividly, we're standing by the island, and my wife just looked at me, she said, I don't want to be married anymore, I want a divorce, this is too hard. And I thought, what's so stinking hard about it? You know, like I didn't understand her perspective. It was actually through me for a loop because here I am, I'm I'm I'm in the house, I'm here, you know, I'll mow the grass or whatever, whatever needs to be done or whatever, but you know, what's the problem? And uh then we really had to get down on the nuts and bolts. And in that process, um my best friend uh from high school is still my best friend today. Um he he was helping my wife with some with some uh health stuff and stuff like that. And so um, you know, he'd call me uh a little bit previous to when my wife said that and uh was basically trying to encourage me to uh you know be the best version of myself that I am. And so, like I said, I was still kind of dumbfounded. My wife's over here trying to better herself a little bit, but I'm home, I'm doing everything I think I'm supposed to be doing, but uh it wasn't enough. And so yeah, that that was definitely an eye-opener, thinking I'm checking every box and doing all the right things. And little did I know I was not on the right path. Um, and I and honestly looking back, I wasn't we just had our 19-year anniversary on the 6th of January, so that that has transpired, but from 13 to 19, a lot of things uh have changed and developed, right?

Chris Faust: 12:52

So your friend that uh that you know that's been your friend since high school and everything, you know, what kind of like you know, I see here that you know he you know told you that you were an impactful person and that you know you're swallowing it down with booze. When he said things like that, you know, did you feel called out? Did you feel seen, or did it like is that is that what like really light lit that fire? Uh to that something needs to change.

Alex Johnson: 13:18

So I'll I'll be real clear here exactly how that conversation went. And uh it was probably one of the most pivotal conversations that moment that I needed to hear. And he said, Hey Alex, he goes, uh, you're my best friend. He's like, I I love you to death. And uh and and I did kind of tell him, you know, I really appreciate watching him on Facebook and being around him with his sons and how he is as a father and all that stuff. And he he literally said these words he said, quit being a pussy and get your shit together. He said, It's time, it's time to to to grab the bull by the horns, it's time to ride into where you're supposed to be going. And um, man, that was clear. That was yeah, he's a veteran himself, too. That was as clear as it gets, you know. Uh and uh coming from him, uh, because he was living a life that looked desirable as far as the fatherhood and stuff, it really resonated at that moment. It it really rung a bell.

Tom Faust: 14:08

So um, you said sometimes just being real with one another, you know, being able to hold the line is is something. What is holding the line look like in a friendship, do you think?

Alex Johnson: 14:20

Um boundaries and brotherhood. Um, and what I mean by that is you know, we all have boundaries. We we um some of them are known boundaries, some of them are the unwritten boundaries where you can see a brother such as myself that was you know moving to a less than desirable place is what it probably looked like from his foxhole, and being able just to say what it is, be real and be bold about it, and know that um the person that you are having this discussion with has the aptitude to be a being willing to accept what you're saying, not out of malice, not out of anger, not out of upsetness, but out of pure love. You know, he said that out of love. Um, he in there was there was no anger or upsetness about it. He was just trying to say, hey, this is the time, this moment right here is the time. And it it really, like I said, it really, it really woke me up. And so going back to your question, Tom, and talking about what does it truly mean to have that that brotherhood or that accountability, it it comes without um without judgment, if that makes sense.

Tom Faust: 15:27

Yeah, it does, yeah.

Alex Johnson: 15:29

You know, that that confrontation there that you know that lit that fire, you know, where he you know said, Hey, you need to change this here. Those confrontations, you know, kind of uh look like they pushed you towards something that you know most veterans and uh probably a lot of people hate as you know, kind of you know, surrendering. And uh you had mentioned that you uh didn't just surrender, you laid face down on the therapist's floor. Um, so uh walk us through uh that you know either that first session or kind of like you know, like like how that came about, where like, okay, I I really need to change and this is this is like let me find the right words here. So during that time, I didn't think I thought my way was the right way. I thought I had it figured out. I thought, you know, I've been to combat, I've led the troops, I've done all these things, you know. Um, I don't want to be told how to do it anymore. I'm gonna do it my way. And uh I was talking to a different therapist, um, and she wasn't a full-time therapist or anything like that. She was a resource to try to help partner vets with resources. And I told her, I said, you know, if I'm ever gonna go see a therapist, it's not gonna be a female, right? They don't want to hear my gory war stuff. Um, I don't want to talk to anybody that was prior service in the military. Um, I just don't want to do any of that. She's like, Oh, I got just the right person for you. So she linked me up with this therapist, and um, you know, I drove there and, you know, it was about 45 minutes from my house. And I was thinking, all right, I'm gonna give it a shot. I'm gonna see what happens, right? It was that um standoffish, still kind of, you know, this isn't this isn't for me, you know, sort of thing. Is this is this weakness, right? Had all those thoughts. I went through all those feelings and emotions, all the things that you're kind of conditioned to believe. That's the opposite of just suck it up and drive on, right? And so I got there and I checked in receptionists, and they said, Yep, you can go down the doctor's office and walk down the doctor's office, knocked on the door, and sure enough, female. And then I look on her wall and and she uh was Marine Corps officer. And I knew, I knew at that point. I was like, I I gotta give up. You know, I've been telling everybody how this world's gonna go and how I want to shape it, and it's gotta be my way and this and that. And somebody finally got me, somebody finally finally figured out uh what it was. And so at that moment, I just had an over overwhelming sensation of it can't be my way anymore, right? I I if I really want something different, I gotta give up and uh and surrender to the process. And um, I literally just walked in the office and laid on the floor and I said, Whatever you need, doctor. I I want change, I need to change. I was like, this is not what I wanted, but obviously it's what I need. And it she said, I've never never had anybody walk in so willing and so freely, ready to ready to change. And so I will say that hour after I got in the chair, it was high octane, and uh I was exhausted. I walked out of there and I spoke with her the next day, and I told her, I said, I don't want to do that anymore. And she said, Hey Alex, I'll match you wherever you're at. You want to come in here and you're firing, I'll match you firing. If you want to come in here and do it a different way, I'll match you there too. Um and so she was she was the energy that I needed for that time in my life. And I'll tell you what, the three years um of working with her was was powerful, very powerful.

Tom Faust: 18:56

And and uh she told you that she never really had a vet give up like that before, I guess, huh?

Alex Johnson: 19:01

No, yeah, she was I think she was taken back, to be quite honest. And I think it was just, you know, sometimes we try to guide our lives exactly how we want it to be, you know, it's gotta be this way or not this way, or this or that, or it's an off and on switch type mentality, right? Um back then I was closed and defensive to everything, right? I wasn't open and curious to what what was uh what was in front of me, you know, it was off or on switch type mentality. And so when I got pushed in that way, um something told me it, you know, it it's not your way. You you gotta you gotta see it, you gotta see it from other avenues, you gotta see different different things. And so um, like I said, yeah, I was it was unique. I don't know why I did it that way, but I almost just felt like my feet got taken out from underneath me, you know. Um, I said what I wanted, I laid the ground rules and it didn't go any way like I wanted.

Chris Faust: 19:55

So yeah. Yeah, it's one of those things where you just You're just kind of you you you don't know how, so you're just kind of like all right. Here it here it is. Help give give me something that definitely, you know. Something you can rise to the challenge to it gives you encouragement. Um so kind of going on to that, you'd mentioned that you had, you know, did three years or more of counseling. Um for for the vet listening who thinks you know counseling is for weakness, that counter counseling is for weak people. What is something you learned in therapy that you probably think you couldn't have learned alone or just you know, just with your buddies?

Alex Johnson: 20:34

You you gotta be I want to say that the soil's gotta be fertile. And what I mean by that, it's gotta be watered, it's gotta be able to plant the seeds in it so they can be nurtured and they can grow. If you're trying to put seeds in the Sahara Desert, your chances of them germinating and and growing are slim to none, or maybe the next time it rains, if you're lucky. So, what what I would say is that there comes a time, I think we all kind of reach that point. And I can't tell you what day it's gonna be, but there comes a time when the brain starts to wanting to be open to uh potential growth or change or um personal development. Um and for me, it just happened to be in that moment, right? That moment in time. I would definitely say the ground probably became more fertile with me when my wife told me, you know, she didn't want to, she didn't want to party anymore, you know. I was what the heck, you know. So I think that's probably when my my desert, my my ground started to get a little bit of water on it and uh started to realize, okay, there's there's more here, right? And um, and then the seeds, right, that got planted, I I really did, I stewarded them well. I took care of them, I pulled the weeds and and took care of the garden, and I really started to to invest in that. I would definitely say the hardest, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life wasn't war, wasn't fatherhood, it was self-development, it was uh mindset changes, it was growth inside myself. It was being able to sit alone in a room and be able to think in clarity and not have to worry about all the demons that you know have those discussions with you when you know veterans don't want to be alone. We still want that community. And so um going through that process, how does a vet get there? I I think a vet really needs to evaluate where they're at, where they want to go. And are they open for that counseling? Otherwise, I feel like I've had some some fellow brothers do it and they didn't have the same outcome. And that was my question to them. Were you open and curious? And was the ground fertile for seeds to be planted? Or do we just fly an airplane across with some seeds in it across the Sarah Desert and hope that something was going to take? You know, hope's never a course of action. We all know that in this room, but um, you know, you got to have a plan. And I think being open to it is the first step to saying, if I'm willing to be open to this time, this hour I'll spend with a therapist, I want to get something from it. That's the first step. If that's the mindset, you'll probably have a pretty good outcome. But there is something to finding the right, the right therapist is gonna meet you where you're at. Not everything's cookie cutter with us, you know how Chris, how you think and how Tom thinks, and how I think, and our different experiences, and what's PTSD to you, to me, to so on and so forth. It it there's so many variables. So I think sometimes for a lack of better words, you got to kind of shop around until you find the person that's gonna meet you where you're at.

Tom Faust: 23:27

So I like that, yeah. And you said one of your favorite topics is consciousness, not being reactive or in an emotional state, but proactive, right? Um, and so, like in plain language, what what does that really look like in your daily life?

Alex Johnson: 23:43

So, um, and working with my best friend there, right? Uh, started seeking some health opportunities that he was doing in life and stuff, and so was his family. Um, so as I started to get mentally healthier, I needed to get physically healthier, um, they kind of went hand in hand, if you will. And um during that time in that entrepreneurship, if you will, um, they had resources towards conscious leadership. Um, like uh the um different books and stuff like that at that time, you know, I I don't read books, I I don't write, I don't, you know, all these things that I don't do, right? I I was I wasn't gonna do them. And it started opening my eyes after doing some counseling, yeah, do some reading and some writing, some interactiveness and stuff, some homework, if you will. Started realizing, okay, there there is some value here. Um, and so uh working inside that company, I had the luxury of meeting Jim Detmer, and he's a conscious leader, does conscious leadership and was specifically doing it for a group inside that company and that entrepreneurship company. And um that was it. I mean, within the first hour of being in his presence and hearing how his mind works, I thought this is what I need to be doing. This is the key. And I think from being open and curious now and being able to see any opportunity that comes at me, I don't look at it as an off-on switch. I look at it as, okay, what what value is it here? Right? That's my question. What value is it? Not I'm not gonna do it or yes, I will do it. It's uh, you know, is it a full-body yes type mentality? And so working with Jim and seeing what he offered and seeing how he lives and seeing how he interacted with his wife up on stage. And it was a small group, I know 200 of us, so it was intimate-ish enough. And then he started going through some practical exercises with us, and I realized how simple it was. Like, I feel like I've made life so complicated when it's really just so simple, and uh he was breaking it down in systematic steps that you could actually achieve things, and um yeah, that that was it. I I told I told my best friend at that time, I said, maybe this is what I was built for is consciousness. Instead of living in that limbic system of the fright, fight, freeze, or faint constantly survival mode. What if I move out of survival mode and I move into consciousness and I use my prefrontal cortex? What if I use this area? You know, I work on working out, right? Because I want my physique to look good, but how much time do I spend working out here? I wasn't spending a lot of time there, and I started devoting more time to that consciousness arena. And I'm gonna tell you what, it it was a game changer, um, full-blown game changer.

Chris Faust: 26:21

So, yeah, you you definitely want to have to change in order to have any sort of meaningful impact on what you're trying to accomplish. And sometimes it just takes somebody saying the right thing that clicks with your brain to be like, oh, that makes so much sense. Um is there a moment where, you know, as you're going through and learning this, is there a moment where you caught yourself mid-reaction and thought, oh, you know, this is the old pattern, you know, that this is the old me? You know, what what did you do in the moment to switch from reaction to the you know the consciousness part of it?

Alex Johnson: 27:00

So I'm glad you asked that. So as as we've worked through consciousness and some of Jim's um stuff, I say we, I'm talking about my wife and my kids, my daughters, my two daughters. Um, we have an agreement and a commitment with one another that we are allowed to ask one another if we're in that conscious state or if we're in that reactionary um emotional state, if that makes sense. Now we don't judge each other or guess what one somebody's communicating in. We act we simply ask that question. And so um my wife and I, uh, you know, as as uh the leaders of our house together here, she can see patterns and she sees things and trends because she's lived with me for so long. So she'll just simply ask me, is everything all right? And she's not saying it in a manner of negativity. What she's trying to do is help my brain move back out of that emotional state and come back into consciousness. And simply doing that takes about two to three seconds for it to kind of freeze your brain. You're like, oh, and then you move back into consciousness, and it's such an easy exercise, and it's not hurtful, it's not mean, it's not anything, it's just simply asking the question. And so since we have that commitment, we have the same thing with our daughters, simply ask them to go clean their room, and sometimes you get a reaction of I know it's like, whoa, okay. So you just pause as a dad or pause as a mom, and I just simply ask, was that an emotional or conscious comment response? And then they go, Oh, actually, dad, can I have 10 more minutes to finish up what I was doing before I go clean my room? Yes, absolutely. Just that alone has changed the whole dynamic in the house. There's no yelling and screaming in my house, there's no freaking out in my house. There's literally one rule in my house, it's to love one another. There's no other rules we have, everything comes back to that point. Um, but simply being able to communicate with each other in that way has allowed us to, when when you do start to digress, to come back to where we want to be going.

Tom Faust: 28:56

So I want to shift just a little bit, but kind of related to what you were just talking about, into uh what you call your big three the spirituality, your wife and your kids are non-negotiables. Um, how how do you how did you arrive at that? I mean, I I maybe it's kind of obvious, but how did you arrive at that? And uh were they always in that order?

Alex Johnson: 29:16

Perfect. So I'm glad you asked that question. That's a wonderful question. So kind of tying back to what Chris was saying, too, is how do you keep the main thing, the main thing, Alex, from from folding, from going backwards or or digressing, if you will, to certain areas of your life. And um, once again, my best friend said, until you get real rigid on what's important to you, then nothing's important to you, right? If everything gets one percent, that's still an F. What gets an A? So um during my um therapy aspect, I I I don't know that I was ever told it, but I felt it, I could understand it, that there was something much bigger than me. There was something much bigger than just my platoon. Um, and that's when my spirituality, I think, really started to skyrocket. And I started searching for okay, what is it? So I spent more time in that wheelhouse. And then as that, as the time I devoted, anywhere from one minute to 30 minutes, morning, evening, um, in my spirituality, I started to realize um how powerful it was. And uh, I started to um spirituality, people can can whatever is gonna take it for you and move it to the next level, is what I encourage you to do. But for my spirituality, it just happened to be Christianity, and so when I was looking at it, it was um if God is the father and I want to go in heaven, right? And I am a father to these daughters, how does he treat me and how am I treating them? How am I treating my wife, right? And so I started to go, oh, so this is how it has to go. And for me, is I need to work on that relationship with dad, God, right? And then if I work there, that will work through me into the relationship with my wife, and in that relationship with my wife, we will both be in unity towards raising the kids. So so once I really studied and figured out those were the three that have to be touched every day. Nothing can nothing can get in the way of that. Those have to hit A's 100% each and every day. Everything else after that becomes gravy. Everything else after that, and then what I also realized is I don't have stress anymore. When I take care of the three most important things to me, what I'm focused on, anything that is a hiccup doesn't seem like that big of a deal. It seems easy to navigate the obstacles throughout the day. So that's something else I would really encourage too, Chris, when I'm talking to people is you know, what's important to you? What are your three non-negotiables? And uh until you can root yourself in them, it's kind of like you're on a boat without a sail. Where what where are you going? You don't know. And so it can be unchanting waters, if you will, or uncharted waters, if you will. So nice.

Chris Faust: 31:58

Yeah, that's really good that you know all these things, you know, lean toward yeah, you you got to take care of yourself first. That's always number one. I mean, how can you look after others and help others if you can't help yourself first? So that's uh that's definitely a really good mentality to have. That's one of the reasons why we do this podcast is you know, we're trying to help others too.

Alex Johnson: 32:19

And that's the hardest, that's the hardest thing I've ever done, Chris, is take care of me, right? That's not what we're always asked to do.

Chris Faust: 32:24

So yeah, it's like in a lot of the people that we talk to, we get, you know, even we get information that we weren't, you know, fully sure of in the first place when we started talking with somebody, and then something flicks in our brain. So, you know, helping us help each other, it's the only way we're gonna get through the world as it gets more crazy as we go on, is just we we gotta be there for each other however we can. So kind of going along that line, you had mentioned that you know, without goals you drifted into alcohol, but with goals, even something as small as you know making your bed, you know, was helping you thrive. What is uh your connection between goals and staying out of the bottle?

Alex Johnson: 33:01

Uh between goals and what?

Chris Faust: 33:03

Staying out of the bottle.

Alex Johnson: 33:04

Oh, staying out of the bottle. Um, so there's a there's a book, and I I'm uh blanking at the moment, but essentially the the aspect of the book was a British road team for the Olympics, and everything they did came back to does this make our boat go faster? So in any decision they made, they correlated it back to a goal. And so when I think of booze or when I think of alcohol, or I think of any vice, to be honest, I have to assess it. Does it help my spirituality? Does it help my closeness with my wife? Does it help with closeness with my daughters? And I'm gonna tell you what, alcohol has never helped at any of those three, and it still doesn't to this day. Um, have I been able to now, after I've been, you know, I went about two, about 26 months, I went no alcohol, just completely, completely dry. And this was uh many years ago, but it's so fantastic now because that mindset of does this help facilitate my big three? Does it support my goals? Um, I can simply have a single beer to watch the Seahawks last night with my brother and be done. I'm in control again, and it's because I'm in control, it's because I have the goal and I know did that simple beer hurt my relationship with my brother? Nope. Is he a military vet? Yep, combat vet too, yep. Does he enjoy a single beer as well? He does, and we had a single, and that was it. Single beer, and then drank water and enjoyed the Seahawks destroying the Niners. We had a blast, right? Sorry if there's Niner fans, but no, you got two Seahawks fans here, so okay, so so with that, it was just one of those things that it's like being able to realize that I am the architect of my life. I do get to set it up the way I want, I do get to live in each moment and be present and intentional in each thing that I choose to do. Um, that's huge, it's massive. Um being able to free yourself to realize that you are the architect, you are the guide in that moment is massive. Um, I think as a veteran, we do get sometimes tied around to the routine, the bosses we we we shape and mold. Um, you know, both you being prior military. If I think if I would ask do you have five o'clock in the morning for physical exercise or 9 a.m. in the morning physical exercise, which one sounds better? I think all three of us would say nine o'clock all day long. Um, but but you don't get to be the architect, you kind of do what you're told to the model, right? And so once you kind of relinquish that and now you are in charge, it's freeing can be scary, but it's freeing once you realize what the goals are that tie behind that aspect of your life. So I think that's what really I mean, at the end of the day, alcohol doesn't control me anymore. Um, you know, some of the other devices I had, they don't control, they just don't.

Tom Faust: 36:01

So somebody's told you that uh you were born a Ferrari, but you like to compare yourself to Pinto, as you said.

Alex Johnson: 36:07

Yeah.

Tom Faust: 36:08

Um and uh then you switched to uh Mario Kart anal analogy. Can you tell us a little more about that?

Alex Johnson: 36:14

So I'm an avid racer, I've I've race motorcycles and anything that has wheels in an engine, I'll race it. Um, and so and and uh this was my old business partner when I got out of the military vet friend of mine, and um and he he was a great stepping stone too to start trying to open up some of the doors here, some of the some of the pathways in my brain. And um in the military, it's you know who got the highest PT score, physical training score, who who shot the best, um, who can run the fastest. Uh, it was always a competitive type aspect. And you know, he was in a unit with me and stuff, so he got to see that competitiveness in me. But once we left the military, he told me, he said, you're always comparing yourself and racing pentos. He said, You're a Ferrari, man. You were born the best. Like I can see it in you. I love everything about you. He said, But when you're trying to race people to win, there's more to you than that. And then he simply brought up Mario Kart. He's like, You've played Mario Kart, yeah. He's like, Well, if you're a Ferrari and you can run the lap in 60 seconds, why aren't you competing it to get it down to 59 seconds instead of just beating the Pintos that are doing a minute five all the time? You're always winning. That's great. But what if you started to compare yourself? What if you started to leverage your ability to be faster as the ghost car? So you're beating your ghost car every day, one percent better. And that analogy really set in with me quite well because it was a racing model, right? And so then I started realizing it doesn't matter how fast Chris and Tom can run, how fast am I running today, and what can I do tomorrow to be faster for myself? Um, I think that's a big, big uh transition from the military mindset um, where everything is performance-based, usually out of a peer group, if you will. So yeah.

Chris Faust: 38:05

So you you you just mentioned that you know, you you know, be because of this new this mindset that you've you know you've stopped comparing yourself to others and only compare yourself to you. Is there uh an area where you're still tempted to, you know, kind of look sideways and compare?

Alex Johnson: 38:21

Oh, I yeah, um by the way, I'm still human. I want to let you guys know I'm still human. I still have still have my flaws, right? Um, or not even flaws, they're not flaws. They're there are moments of I would say probably lack of consciousness where I digress. And of course, I mean, um, you know, even you know, right now I I do a project management um job for a company that uh does architectural engineering work for uh VA hospitals uh around the nation here. So um, you know, probably just last week alone, I would say I probably compared myself to another project manager. You know, how many projects do they have versus how many projects do I have? How much work are they doing versus how much work am I doing? Why does it matter? Right? So in that moment, I digress because I want to compare, right? I want I want there to be some apples to apples here when really it didn't matter. And really the thought was probably a loss of a minute and a half of my life that I won't get back. You know, it's part of that history book. So giving you just kind of a tangible of something that I was just thinking of that would be recent, that's probably an area where I was comparing or competing, and it has no value. There was no value add to my life. So going back to it, what you know, the other way to think about it is what are my projects and how can I do better at them? You know, or how can I how can Alex do better tomorrow inside those areas that he wasn't doing today and just move it 1% better? Um, you know, as people say, if you do 1% better each day, that's what 365% over a year, that's quite quite a milestone, you know. Um so one push up today might be two tomorrow, 365 in a setting would be quite a quite a show, right? And it's doable, it's just it's that consistency and staying in. That space.

Tom Faust: 40:00

So yeah, that's great. Yeah. And then always, even back to what you were talking about a minute ago, always compare yourself with yourself, your previous self, as you do that 1% better each day, comparing to somebody else usually just ends in frustration. So 100%.

Alex Johnson: 40:20

I guess I don't know how I ever brought this up, but you know, expectations. I don't have expectations for my wife to make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I did back back years and years ago. And sometimes when she was sick, I was let down because I had to go do it myself. I had an expectation she was going to do it. And once I realized that uh she just does it out of love and kindness, she hasn't do it because of her expectation. I don't do things for her because she expects me to do them. I do them because I love her. We're a team, right? And so once I started to think like that, it started to really help with relationships. Because when you do things out of selfless service or out of being a servant, um, that really does uh show over time what the true value system really is of you or or of who you are.

Tom Faust: 41:05

So and so for the for the veteran who you know feels like they used to be a Ferrari when they were in the military and now they're more like the feel more like the pinto in civilian life. What um what would you tell them to, you know, for that first left to get them started moving in the right direction?

Alex Johnson: 41:23

I'm gonna tell you, I I've yet to find a veteran that's still not a Ferrari, you know. Uh that that's first and foremost. We we don't digress, we we're not worse, we're um actually more equipped, we're we're actually special in a certain way. Um that still makes them be the Ferrari that they are, unless they've chosen their mindset to be a pinto. So simply just looking back and realizing how far you've came is so so wonderful. And if you take that and realize where you want to go, you're still a Ferrari, you're not the Pinto. So um if any veteran hears me, you are a Ferrari, you're not a Pinto, uh, no matter what. Yeah, and you gotta you gotta understand that. Um, you have different you have a different ability to do things that most people haven't or won't do.

Chris Faust: 42:11

And that actually transitions really well to what I wanted to mention is that one big thing that you'd mentioned, you know, you know, if you're a veteran, you know, you're a Ferrari, but part of that is accountability. So underneath all this, you know, mental and spiritual work is you know veterans like accountability. That's what we you know, that's that's what we need. We need it, we want it. But some can kind of feel like they lose it when they leave the service. Um, so you've said that you don't care if you know somebody's a homeless vet or living in the Taj Mahal. You know, if you if you're a vet accountability is one of those things we do. What does healthy accountability between veterans look like today?

Alex Johnson: 42:52

I mean, simply it it's funny. Uh my veteran buddies right now are texting me because there's a stinking football game on, right? And that's something that they enjoy. I don't care to uh I would rather spend time doing this than watching a football game, but it's something that they love and I can appreciate that. Um, but simply being bold enough to pick up the phone. You gotta be able to pick up the phone. Um, when I saw that alpha team leader pop back up on you know Facebook or what have you, I think he had a four or five year hiatus. I saw him there and I literally just hit the messenger button call. Yeah, I didn't know if he's gonna pick up, I didn't know if he's mad. I have no clue, but it's simply accountability is doing it fearless. Call that person, follow up with somebody, ask them how they're doing and be quiet and listen. They're gonna leave clues, right? Clues are all over the place. It's up to you to listen. And so I guess for me, probably in my personality and kind of where I'm at in my life today, I feel like maybe a sliver of responsibility. It's not, you know, not my top three priority, but it is in that priority arena for me to touch base with some of these fellas and just ask them, how the heck are you doing? You know, um, usually by a second or third call, they're telling, telling you some pretty meaningful things, you know. And um, I feel like I've, you know, we're still working on myself, obviously, to this moment, and I won't ever stop, but being able to simply give them 15 to 20 minutes of that that brotherhood, that accountability, and going back to being real about accountability, right? Uh, don't don't sugarcoat it. If they're saying they're drinking every day, don't celebrate it. If that's not what they want to be doing, if they want something different, but they're telling you they're drinking every day. Well, back to what my best friend said to me, right? I won't say it again, but uh, you know what I'm saying? Being pointed about it and telling them how you know what they need to hear. I think that's part of accountability, but yeah, don't be scared to pick up the phone, you know?

Tom Faust: 44:49

Yeah, it sounds like uh um you're a number of people in your previous military life still contact you, like you just said, about the football game. Um the conversations start out surface level, but yeah, you get to the hard stuff eventually. You really want to help make sure that they're doing well.

Alex Johnson: 45:10

Um yeah, you'd have to being intentional with the time, right?

Tom Faust: 45:15

Yeah, yeah. And and so uh is uh like what's one question that you might wish that veterans would ask each other more often when they do have these conversations, you know, other than you know, hey, how you doing, brother? You know, it's how what's a good way for to get deeper with uh with somebody that you you know probably needs to talk a little more?

Alex Johnson: 45:34

I love to ask them what what the next 30 days has in store. You know, let's map it out. What are you gonna do tomorrow? Just and and then just shut up, right? Because sometimes there's gonna be that awkward lull, that uh one minute of no conversation that felt like an hour, but it starts getting their brains to turn. And um, I think once you start opening up people's brains, right? The most powerful thing I believe we have on this earth is what's right here. Um, getting those juices to start flowing, and then start encouraging it. Well, I want to get back to the gym tomorrow. What does that look like to you? What gym are you going to? Dive in a little bit deeper, get a little bit more details, start making it that conversation turn into a reality, right? Start mapping it out well enough where somebody can see it through. Um those are the conversations I love to have with my veteran brothers, you know. Um, I don't let them be surface level, you know. We could talk about football for a couple minutes. I'm fine with that. Yep. Uh bow neck's broke his ankle. Okay, we could talk about all that stuff. But what are you doing tomorrow? What's Monday look like for you? Do you got the day off? Really starts to morph into um conversations and and substance, right? Which then comes back to follow-up, right? You know, we we could sit here and build a relationship, but if I never follow back up with you and ask you how last week went and did we hit the goals or you know, what did you end up accomplishing and then celebrating those little wins, right? Because little wins always lead to the big ones. Um that's kind of the service that I still see um today, you know. If if you want to say what's the version of Sergeant Johnson, that's the Sergeant Johnson that people get now, is that version of growth and trying to empower people to see where they want to go and then support them. I mean, I don't give them money to support them necessarily, but just sometimes energy, just the energy that we have, because we all wake up with 100% each day, being able to give one or two percent of that each you know, couple times a week to a couple people is sometimes enough that shifts the whole shifts the whole mechanism for them, i.e., that my best friend did it for me.

Chris Faust: 47:39

So kind of a little bit of uh you know following up on that. So if a if a veteran is listening uh to this and realizes, you know, uh I don't have that, I have, you know, I just have drinking buddies, I uh what would be your advice on them for like a first step to you know try and build actual camaraderie and accountability?

Alex Johnson: 48:02

I mean, there there's multiple different ways, but I would definitely say my peer group and my friend group has changed as I started to evolve and grow, as I started to set my boundaries of my big three. Um, I lost some friends that said spirituality, Sky Daddy, you're you're giving time to Sky Daddy, you're crazy, you know, and stuff, and that's fine. You know, uh I still love you, but I'm gonna keep going where I want to go. What's what's making me a better version? Um, some oh man, you want to bring your wife with us to go party? Oh, yeah, she's number two priority. Uh, we we ain't doing wives this time. Well, I'm out. It's not a full body yes, right? So, so going back to that, if you just have drinking buddies and they're gonna maintain drinking buddies, and that's the commitment that you guys have as a group, first thing you got to do is you gotta shift to a different group. It might hurt, it might feel lonely for a second, but you know, there's seven billion people in this world. There is a community for everyone, and being accepted as a community is one of the aspects that I feel is humanity. You know, if you have a belly button, you probably possess some desire to have community uh relationships. And so if, you know, once again, you're the architect of your life, you can control who gets to come through your door and who doesn't, or what door you enter through, or what door you don't, right? If it's the same bar at the same bar stool at the same time every day of the week, change that. Maybe just change the bar. Maybe don't sit at the bar at that bar, sit in the booth, say hello to somebody that comes through the door. Maybe they're not drinkers, maybe they're there for the food. I don't know. But change what you're doing to try to get a different outcome.

Tom Faust: 49:38

So yeah, kind of taking that back to the uh talking with your therapist. Um, I guess she said there there's a uh like a coat hook outside your front door, and you hang your cape there before you go inside, you know, like uh sort of a Superman analogy or something, right? Yeah, you talk more about that.

Alex Johnson: 49:57

Absolutely. So it was probably about four to six months into the counseling. My counselor was starting to identify that my personality traits and kind of the condition space that I was from the military was always to fix the problems. And she gave me permission, right? She said, and I I can't remember, but it must have been somewhere in and around this time. My wife wrote a letter to me and mailed it to the counselor because the counselor asked my wife to do it and asked if we were open for that to happen. And I said, of course. Um, and I'm gonna tell you what, she read that letter out loud, and then uh there was a part that I needed to read, and I I was choked up. The stuff my wife was saying were things that I'm sure she had said to me before, but I never heard it. I'm sure I didn't hear it though, you know? And so it was very um emotional, right? It really uh holy smokes, it kicked me in my stomach. It was it was hard. But as as we were divulging, and this she said, Alex, I can tell your wife and your daughters, they're they're your team. They're you're not there to be their Superman. They already know you're their Superman. You don't always have to go through the door in this heroic manner, trying to, you know, fight off everything and fix everything. Just be dad, be husband, be open and available, be emotionally available. You don't have to solve it. Sometimes they just want you to listen. And she said, so do me a favor when you get home, go to your front door, take your cape off, hang it up on the hook, and go through your front door. And I started doing that as silly as it sounds. I was literally going through the motions as if I was doing it before I walked through the front door, and all of a sudden I saw my family in a different way. I saw them as teammates of mine. Um, sure, I'm the ultimate protector if something needed to happen, but what are the chances? Slim to none. Okay, let's be realistic, slim to none, uh, based off where I lived and the looking at the the risk analysis, if you will, was very low. Um, but with that, uh I realized my family, they just wanted a dad and a husband. That's all they wanted. They didn't need some superhero, they didn't need some crazy combat that they didn't, and then it also allowed me to start telling them about my PTSD, start telling them about my military service, start telling them some of the things like i.e. yelling in the house. My wife used to scream, time to brush your teeth, get ready for bed, and it would spike cortisol, right? And now I'm in go mode, you know. We got we gotta get teeth brushed, you know, we gotta get things done. And I realized that wasn't serving the household, it wasn't even serving my wife, you know? And so we've came to that agreement that when we yell in the house, that makes dad trigger something, right? That energy. And so in this house that we live in, we don't even yell in here anymore. We talk at normal, normal voices. If we want to go, if something needs to get done, we'll simply move to somebody wherever they're at in their location, whether it's a bedroom, and talk to them. And it's because I was transparent with them that because of what had happened, when I hear yelling, screaming, if I see crying, um, things like that, those were triggers to me. Um, which is, you know, you can cry now because I realize I don't associate it to a brother being, you know, dead in combat. I've realized that those are emotional things that people are allowed to express, and that usually takes about 90 seconds to process an emotion moving through consciousness, right? I've learned the art of some of this stuff, but it it was um something I didn't think you were allowed to share. Don't share your combat experience with your family, they don't need to hear it. Well, why not share it with them so they understand the position that you know their dad or their husband's in? What's wrong with that? They don't need to necessarily know every gory detail, but maybe some of the reasons why you act a certain way and why, and being able to be open and curious in the family dynamic, because you don't have to be Superman, and being able to be vulnerable in that way really uh you know allowed the family dynamic to grow, and it grew fast, it grew really rapidly after that, too.

Chris Faust: 54:03

So, what's been the what's been the hardest part about letting your family see the non-armored version of you?

Alex Johnson: 54:11

I I would say I think I might have been over. I I think it was the hardest part was what's gonna happen? The fear of the unknown. Are they gonna fear me once I tell them these stories? Will they be scared of me? Um will they look different at me now? Um, will I look ugly to them? Right? Uh you go through the unknown, and that's the hardest part. You put that armor, you take that armor off, you don't know. And I will tell you, um laying the foundation of being able to let them maybe, and some of the stories my wife maybe she doesn't want any more details of that story, and that's okay for her to say, right? So being able to be in that relationship with somebody where you're committed to being able to have that boundary, where it's not saying that she doesn't want to hear it, it's saying that maybe she hit her emotional availability because what I'm sharing is taxing and being able to pause and being okay with that part of the process. But yeah, I think that's it. Is I'm gonna take my armor off, what's gonna happen? I'm gonna be vulnerable. What's gonna happen? If you're with the right people in the right space, I think it's gonna be a beautiful thing.

Tom Faust: 55:27

So so if a veteran uh came to you today with like like your alpha team leader did, for instance, um, and they need to begin working through something. So you mentioned your big three goals, you know, the counseling, accountability, all that. Um, if you had to put those in order, you know, of a step-by-step for the vet to go through, how would you do that for them?

Alex Johnson: 55:49

I'd say step one is figure out what is your non-negotiables, what are the three most important things to you? It might not come overnight. I think it took probably four to five weeks with my counselor. Um, believe it or not, and if you would ask my counselor this, when's the only time that Alex wasn't talking? It's when she asked me what was what was the most important thing to me. I had no clue. I ended up crying the first time she asked me that. I didn't know. I said, Oh, oh, I I like to uh I like to go fishing with the kids. She's like, No, no, no, no. She's like, and she literally called me out. She said, nope, that's not it. What is it that Alex loves? What is something you love? What is something that that is yours that that that is non-negotiable, you know whatever? Uh, I think I like uh she cut me off before I gave it shake. Nope, nope. She's like, and then I it I froze. I realized I didn't know. I didn't know what I loved, I didn't know what I loved about myself, I didn't know what I was committed to, I didn't know what was the the non-negotiables for me. And then it finally, in that conversation, I used to ride cropped rockets, and um, but in that riding cropped rockets was an adrenaline rush for me, so it fixed the junkie in me, if you will. And then we started talking about Sheck, okay, so you do like engines, you do like racing, you do like now you've said you like your family, and I do believe you do. She said, So how do we make this work? And it was probably about seven weeks later, I sold sold the crotch rocket. We got four dirt bikes and uh four dirt bikes, Bluetooth headsets, and before you knew it, we're out riding in the woods, four dirt bikes, the four of us, and we were chopping it up out in nature, riding dirt bikes, doing something fun. Was I racing them? No, but did I find I found more enjoyment being with them doing something I enjoyed and seeing them start to enjoy riding motorcycles? That's when she started to say, see, now you're starting to figure out what what you love. Before you were just throwing things out there to check a box with me, she's like, and I'm not gonna allow you to do that. And she wasn't wrong. When I look back on it, I'm like, oh yeah, she she knew the spade when she had the spade. She was she wasn't she wasn't messing around. So I would definitely tell a step the very first thing you need to do is find out what do you love and what are your non-negotiables? And it might it might take you a year to figure it out. I don't know what the timeline is for people, and I don't want to say anything's a race, everything's done with intention.

Chris Faust: 58:20

What would you say directly to you know the spouse or a partner of a veteran who's listening to this and is thinking, you know, that they're at that, you know, year 13 divorce conversation?

Alex Johnson: 58:32

I mean, I I'm speaking from uh probably a combat arms type veteran, you know, perspective is uh sometimes we need an ultimatum. Sometimes we need that that boot in the rear end to really wake us up. And then what we need to see is the follow-through on it, right? We we don't need an empty promise. We we we we like action. And um, I will tell you, my my wife, she's a woman of action. So I didn't take what she was saying lightheartedly. I knew what she would do, you know. Um, but simply being transparent. This has to change, or this is the outcome. This is the boundary. There's nothing in between. There's it's it's not up for discussion, right? Veterans, I believe we like to hear it clear. We we want we want to know what it is. We don't want it sugar coated, we don't want to beat around the bush. Tell us what it is. And if you're a spouse out there, that's probably the best way you're gonna communicate. I wouldn't necessarily say to do it when they're in a state of, you know, if their sobriety's off, I wouldn't necessarily say that's probably not the best time to get the ultimatum because I don't know that it's going to resonate. I can probably tell you there's years of my life that probably have forego forego in my memory because, well, alcohol wasn't allowing me to retain it. Um, but that day that my wife told me I was as sober as could be that morning, and there was no No shortage in what she was telling me. And so, you know, being bold like that, I think, is very helpful for a spouse, especially a military spouse or the veteran himself or herself, they need to hear it, what it is.

Chris Faust: 1:00:16

And so, say for somebody who's listening who wants to reach out to a vet that they're worried about, you know, whether it's you know family or a good friend, but they don't know what to say, you know.

Alex Johnson: 1:00:29

In your kind of what's a sentence that they could borrow from you to reach out and well, I'll leave you with this there's no wrong words to the right people. And I'll say it again there's no wrong words to the right people, and what I mean by that is I have said something to somebody, whether it was a veteran friend or not, and they got offended. But then the week later, I say almost the exact same thing to somebody else, and they take it and it grew them, and they grew from it, they loved it, and they were so grateful for it. There's no wrong words for the right person. So is there a cookie cutter copy paste that we can use for all of our veteran friends? What I would encourage you to do is spend 60 seconds in solidarity, taking time and energy to be present before you make that phone call and simply be prepared to listen. Just simply sometimes telling somebody, I love you. Well, that's not manly, I don't care. You know, I tell people I love them, and sometimes that's just what they needed to hear, and then pause, listen. Um, yeah, so I don't know that there's an exact way to uh say this is how I would pick up the phone and call this person. What I'm gonna generally what I do, and I think Tom saw me do it before we got on here. About third, I was about 30 minutes early. I left, I sat in my quiet space, I went through my notes again, and I just asked for peace and and serenity to be present in this moment with you. And um, were all my words gonna be perfect? Where it was ever was all my messages gonna be clear? I don't know, but what I did ask for is to be intentional, and so you know, is there distractions going on in the world right now? Yeah, my dog was just on the bed trying to distract me from the intention of what I was trying to work with you guys on, right? And so I had to remove the distraction so I could come back to being intentional. So when you call those veterans, do yourself a favor and get centered in yourself and be available for the block of time that you're willing to give to that veteran that you're gonna pick up the phone and call. I think it's important.

Tom Faust: 1:02:44

So as we're wrapping this thing up, you you said that uh this podcast, conversations like this, they serve your spirituality, uh, your desire to help and serve. How do you define service now compared to how you defined it when in uniform?

Alex Johnson: 1:02:59

Perfect. That's a wonderful question. So um going back to spirituality and understanding what servant what being a servant is, right? Or or what a servant looks like. Um the correlation to some of the best leaders in the world that I've ever had the experience to be with, they're they're best servants first. And what I mean by that is it's not what's in it for me, it's how can I empower you? And through the empowerment of them, of the people around them, they're the tide rises and all the ships are going up with it, right? So um that's what I understand a leadership role now is is being a servant first at your fullest capability. And what I mean by that isn't necessarily um, oh, you have a flat tire, let me just change it for you, right? So you just sit in the car and wait for me to get done with it. A different way that I understand a serve is hey, I'll help you change the tire and I'll show you how to do it. Ah, that's the servant. The servant there is going to teach you something so you're better off when you walk away from something. The other servant is just to fix your problem, which to me was probably more of an ego self-prophesizing uh task that I used to do is I wanted to be a servant, but I wanted to fix it because it made me feel good. In return, that person was no better off when I left them. Now, being a servant is when I leave this podcast, I hope Chris and Tom are 1% better from our interaction today. I hope they got something from this, and I know I've received from you guys already. I already can feel what's going on here. So that's how I understand being a servant now versus then.

unknown: 1:04:39

Okay.

Chris Faust: 1:04:40

And kind of like, you know, so final thought on you know, what mission are you on now? And where do you go from here to continue your impact?

Alex Johnson: 1:04:49

Perfect. So uh I was just telling Tom, I got I got a call uh a couple days ago to go um become Sergeant Johnson again, which hasn't hasn't happened in, I don't know, six, seven years. But there's a volleyball team and they were looking for some accountability, some mental toughness, some physical conditioning, um, some you know, team camaraderie type aspects in chemistry. And they asked if I would do it. And so I feel like that's part of pouring back into the community. You know, my wife and I are volleyball coaches as well. So am I gonna make the next professional USA Women's Olympic national player? Probably not. The odds are probably against me, but what I can make is somebody that's conscious, a young woman that's conscious, that's a critical thinker, that's open and curious, that's not closed and defensive, that knows how to use teamwork and knows how to build people up. They might be your next president you vote for in about 30 years. I don't know. But I know I can build that. I don't know that I can build a U.S. women's national volleyball player, right? So that's kind of how I look at being a servant back into the community, taking the things I have learned, taking the military structure of leadership, style, and uh chemistry and camaraderie and unity and all the things. How do I employ that today and how do I keep serving? I do it through coaching, I do it through, like you said, simply just calling a vet friend or seeing them pop back up on Facebook and not being scared. Simply clicking the button and saying hello, you know. So that's how I feel like I still pour into the world today. Um the the goal, the end state goal, about 10 years from now, being a conscious leader as far as doing workshops and helping people work through it in a tangible way, like Jim did for me. Um, carrying on that that tradition or that legacy that he's already laid that great foundation. I have a lot of work to go before I get there. But you know, that is something that's definitely uh super intriguing to me, and I just love every thought about it.

Tom Faust: 1:06:41

So well, I just want to um thank you, Alex, for joining us and uh you know, you taking that cape off for us and just being being your the servant here, and I I appreciate that.

Chris Faust: 1:06:54

Yeah, and uh, also want to thank everybody else for uh for for listening, uh tuning in, taking time away from your your your day to you know, listen. Hopefully it helps out. Hopefully, you got some good information, some good advice, some motivation from Alex with what he was talking about. And uh yeah, we really appreciate it. Hope it helps somebody. If you do enjoy the content, think somebody else might need it, you know, like, subscribe. We just need to get the word out to help push this information out to anybody who might need it. And uh, yeah, we just always thank you for for tuning in with us.

Tom Faust: 1:07:29

All right, on that, we'll see you next time.